The remedy is prescribed at 5 and half weeks of radiotherapy every day (except weekends) followed by a break of 3 to 8 weeks to allow the flesh to recover as radiation degrades it making it unsuitable for surgery. Then surgical removal in hospital for 7 to 10 days. There will be follow up checks every 3 months for 2 years then 6 monthly checks for 3 years and finally once a year for 3 years.
My first feelings after diagnosis was subtle and hard to read although I can say I felt different. Like my number had come up. I was the one in three who find some kind of cancer. I don't know where I get that statistic but it stuck in my awareness. A dull light cloud descended and once I became aware of its presence as separate from me I changed my behavior and carried on with my regular schedule. Riding to work early in the day, visiting my sons down the road, working and socialising. Soon after I got back on the bicycle (I had been commuting on trains and trams for a couple of weeks during the tests) I found my muscles again and I had this sensation of squeezing the lump from my sinews like a pip from a grape. Popped out on the road, diminished and left to rot. It feels like a separate thing. It doesn't look right on the ultrasound or in my flesh. It's a lump and if I were to let it go as one might in other times when less was known about the tuma, it would eventually spread to another part of my body perhaps create complications and eventually I would succumb.
The question does arrive eventually asking about the meaning of the lump. What does it carry in its cells? How are they created? What negative association has manifested the lump. What psychic baggage does it carry? It has prompted me to maintain my attitude. To look inward and feel the light inside.
I read you blog. thanks
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