When the healing stops and the wound is healed a new set of chemicals flush through the body. The healing process is notable because it feels like being inside a blanket or wanting to be, wrapped up and tired, resting, warm and without any drive to get up, go out, make out or even ride the bike. Apart from the pain, healing is a gentle, nurturing time. I found it doesn't help or feel right to be doing too much. I have a very busy job and staying with work was a combination of stressful, and enervating. At its best, healing is a good time to give thanks and be at peace.
I felt clearly the contrast between healing and healed. After a time the cells damaged by radiation healed and a new flush of chemicals began to flow. As I mount by bike once again for the commute to work I can feel the thigh re grouping, making new connections. Gradually over the last few days I have felt the awesome joy of being alive in Melbourne in the Spring rain and the traffic. This new energetic force is easily capable of being busy. What ever the chemistry of wellness, its certainly different to healing. When I laugh out loud, love large, dance or ride my bike the mix of chemicals in the lubricants that keep the thing pumping is not the same as the healing body. What an awesome cocktail of responsive chemicals.
I look now toward the the healing associated with the void created by removal of the 'Lump'. The unzipping of my thigh will take some time to zip up.
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